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About Literature / Student Natalie Irey19/Female/United States Group :icononce-in-a-world: Once-in-a-world
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I left him,
but he was the one who suffocated my lungs with dust
when he went back to a town I littered with pieces of myself.

I think he couldn't breathe just as much as me.

So I cut gills into my throat
and drowned myself.

Although the water made me weightless,
I still sank to the bottom from the bricks I tied to my wrists.
The pressure was relief, considering the depth
I brought myself to couldn't carry his voice.

He went to his element.
Unlike how I fell, he rose.
Using the weight of all I'd done to him,
he lifted it, gaining muscle that pushed against his skin.
Yet it still wasn't enough to overcome me.

Through monsoon season, I anchored myself in the deep end,
until my blood pumping sounded like the syllables of his name.

That's when my lungs came back to me.
Cutting the ties of what held me under,
I needed air.

When I gasped oxygen back into me at the surface,
my body responded by yelling his name down the valleys
and over the mountains.

Like a modern day Atlas,
he was carrying the world we made.
Then my words must've hit him like an earthquake,
because he trembled the ground beneath my feet.

My legs that had come accustomed to not supporting me
threatened to give out beneath me.

His steps went forward three and back one,
hesitating to see the demon he feared me to be.

We stood in front of each other dripping wet;
me from my sorrows and him from his sweat.
He had become a young god, the ruler of my heaven.
I was a siren who drowned his fears in the sea.
If my mother had her way,
I'd be sitting on a perch with a peacock,
to the far left of his color scheme.

If my father had his way,
I'd be nesting with an eagle,
"protected in his wings".

For me, a barn owl taken shelter in a splintered home,
a peacock lacks the ability to function in my world of no light - poor pretty boy -
and an eagle claims what isn't his, keeping it as territory from all the other eyes.
Neither of their heads work the same as mine.

I've considered vultures,
lives bringing passage to the dead,
but they are more scavenger than predator.

Then I thought of a crow -
lucrative, intelligent -
and decided differently when their calls started to echo in my dreams.

After fumbling through feathers,
I looked into my own genes.
A tawny owl, someone who lives the same life as me.
Atleast He'll Fly
Something different. I was stuck on birds the other night.

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I made a boy fall in love with me
then I left like pulling off a scab -
quickly, without leaving a piece behind.

(I fucked up. I fucked up. I fucked up.)

He was gold that made me look like bent bronze,
Not to other's eyes,
but in my copper heart,
I knew.  

I kick and hit and cut and scream at myself
for letting go of a boy
I could've made marry me.

"He didn't have a mind like me."
no depth that was more than
twelve feet deep.

That's what I told myself at least.
He was a boy
(I wonder if he became a man)
that put me on a plinth
as artwork.

Made a home for me, the restless refugee,
out of heartbroken strings he rewove,
lacing in steel to keep me safe.

But I said, "I'm not ready to settle."
Now I sit in a class with his friend,
and my hand wont stop shaking.

(god damn it. god damn it. god damn it.)
Statistically Inaccurate
Fuck, there's no going back.

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my makeshift son of god

"get on your knees"

I'd kneel in front of him

exorcise his demons
swallow his sin

our Sunday service

swear on the bible
put my hand on his

nightly prayers
three hail marys and seven holy hymns

he repent my sins
amongst the "oh my god"s I preached to the ceiling

told the pastor my practice
and with a nod he whispered
The Book of Nathaniel
young gods who toyed with religion
la la languish

rot beneath the coal and turn to energy
because as he lives he's wasting a mentality,

what a tragedy.

go go goldsmith

mine his life force, mine his wits
toss away his blackened bits,

no ones lives to reminisce.

fa fa fatal

the smog lifted from his surface,
oh, the disturbance,

snuff him out, do the town a civil service.

ba ba bastard

brother to the water's poison.
as men die, they beg "emotion",

too late, too deep, no more avoiding
Testing November
i've let go of one of the last few demons I have left.
My life is a wreck, but you know what they say, a captain goes down with their ship.

May 5, 2014, 5:37 PM


natirey7's Profile Picture
Natalie Irey
Artist | Student | Literature
United States
I lost my way and the only map is the syllables in my sentences.

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Psycheheart Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2015
Thank you so much for the watch! 
nocturnaliss Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave ^^
SloppyDreamscape Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015
Thanks for the fave :)
Porter-Bailey Featured By Owner Edited Dec 17, 2014  Student Writer
Thanks for the watch! :)
cyranosdemet Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014
Thanks for noticing my ramble, and the fave :-)
natirey7 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2014  Student Writer
welcome (:
FlameAlive Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Student General Artist
thank you for faving Thoughts Of A College Student!
AirplaneZ900andNine Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Guten tag! thanks a lot for the fave :D
red1699 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2013
Happy Birthday
natirey7 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you!!
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